Afraid
by Midnight City
Summary: Summary: It’s been 40 years…40 long years since she died and I wasn’t over her death. It took the words of someone special to me to realize that I needed to move on…
1. Ryoma

Midori: Hello everyone! Midori here with yet again another one shot.

Summary: We slowly become friends, then best friends and then I fell in love with her but I was afraid…Afraid she wouldn't love me the way I felt for her, and then I was too late…

I wrote the Naruto version a few years ago. It's in my profile titled "Secret Feelings I Had For You" I decided to do the PoT version and see how that goes, so enjoy!

Ryoma's POV

What can I say about a girl that was the granddaughter of my tennis coach in Junior High?

There wasn't much to say about her except for the fact that she was horrible at tennis, a bad sense of direction and had ridiculously long hair. But still there were some or rather _very few_ good points about her, like how she can make excellent lunches or coming to our games cheering us on. How ever there was one thing I liked about her…

Her smile

Whenever she smiled it seemed that the day has gotten even better, I never wanted to admit it but I actually liked it. Seeing her smile seemed to make my days better.

Ryuzuki was the coach's granddaughter. At first she was just an annoying fangirl who\s going to shout my name for every little I do during practice or a game. As the days and weeks passed, I slowly accepted the fact that she wasn't like that but instead she would be a friend in the making.

I remember the day when we first met. She was sitting the train by herself feeling timid because of 3 high school guys rambling about their tennis skills. To be honest I had noticed her. She was afraid that the racquet was going to hit her. Just as the racquet was about to hit her, I managed to stop them. When she looked at me I saw a relieved look staring me down. I gave her a blank stare and got out of the train.

I saw her again. I was walking around trying to find my way to the Kakinokizaka tennis garden. She looked annoyed at first and then she snapped and pointed at me when I asked her for directions

"You're the guy from the train!"

Instead of giving me the right directions she gave me the wrong way and thus resulted in my disqualification.

I saw her as I sat outside. She was apologizing to me as if tomorrow would never come. She offered to buy me a drink but in the end she didn't have enough change so I bought drinks for the both of us.

Needless to say back then I was pissed off at her but I didn't show the sign of anger towards her. It was then I realized that if she didn't sit across from me or if I haven't ran into her twice I wouldn't have met her. And so this day I silently thank fate for the encounter.

There was something about her that makes attracted to her. Was it that smile off hers? Or her chocolate colored eyes? It didn't really mattered I was attracted to her. She was like an exotic flower blooming among common flowers. Back then she greeted me cheerfully and I never say anything. But now I felt so attracted to her it wasn't a joke. I wanted her to be by side and never leave.

There was a cherry blossom tree near a lake and it was her favourite hangout. Everyday I would see her sitting on a branch playing a violin. I never knew she could play violin but I also never knew she could play really well. I would listen to whatever she was playing and the music took me away. It felt like she belonged there, with the pink petals flying around her and her long auburn hair fluttering gently in the wind. One day she noticed me and asked me to come and join her. I was about to say no but her eyes gave me a tempting look I just couldn't refuse. I sighed in defeat and joined. She was sitting on top of an old branch in to which my surprise could support the both off us.

Ryuzuki started to talk about her dreams about being a violinist and to able to study aboard someday learning about music. I told her I wanted to beat oyaji someday and to be the world's best tennis player. She never laughs about them and encouraged me to pursuit on. It made me like her even more.

Slowly we became friends and then best friends. We were always together doing things together. I found myself enjoying her company. Everyday we'd sit on the branch admiring the day. She would play the violin and I would listen letting the music take me away.

As the years passed by, my feelings for her were slowly changing. Whenever I think about it I would shrug it off but at nighttime I started thinking about her. I was dreaming of her and having this feeling of being with her all the time. Being with her during the day wasn't enough for me but I wanted her to be with me always regardless of the time. I was confused and I didn't know what it was. Whenever Ryuzuki touched me, a tingling sensation would come whenever her hand on my shoulder.

There was a time when she almost lost her balance on the usual branch we sat on. I managed to grab her up and pulled her to safety. I wanted that moment to continue and hope it would never stop because I had the feeling at not wanting to let go. I just wanted to hold her and let time stop for the both of us. I pulled her closer to me and she apologized to me a lot. She didn't do anything wrong and I wasn't angry at her so what harm can it do. I just sighed and told her it was okay. It was then and there I realized that I have slowly fallen in love with her.

I kept on denying the feeling I had for her because I was afraid. Yes I was afraid. Afraid of what would happen if I told her how I felt. I thought it would destroy the friendship we had for each other so I had kept it for myself.

As soon as we entered high school I noticed how Ryuzuki grew even lovelier everyday. She stopped braiding her hair and she had it cut just below her shoulders. I noticed that so many guys were giving her compliments, flowers and chocolates. My heart aches at the sight and I wanted to knock them out with my twist serve but I knew she deserved and all I could do was stand at the sidelines and watch. There were many times I wanted to tell her how I felt for her but I couldn't. I was still afraid she would see me as a friend. I was also now afraid of letting her know how I feel about her as much as losing her.

One day I learned that Ryuzuki had someone already. At first I tried to convince myself it was just a rumor. It turns out that her boyfriend was Fuji-sempai. He and Ryuzuki were in the school orchestra. Both of them played violin, which means they were close. When I saw Ryuzuki with Fuji-sempai with their hands intertwined it felt as if a knife stabbed my heart. One day after practice she was waiting for him. As they walked off together, I watch them as I heard my heart breaking. She often called my name but I pretended not to hear her and walk away afraid that she would see the pain in my eyes seeing her walk with someone none other than me. Whenever we passed by each other she wanted to talk to me but I simply ignored her kept on walking. She pleaded to talk to me but I never said a word to her. I became the ignorant 12 year old I was back then.

The day came when they broke up. I was sitting on a bench drinking some ponta and she ran towards me with tears in her eyes. She cried on my shoulder telling me that they broke up. From what she told me they had gotten in argument and thus broke up. I felt a wave of relief wash all over me plus a second chance to tell her how I feel. I felt bad for her because she was crying her heart out for Fuji-sempai. Back then I didn't know how to handle it.

(A/N:I know Fuji isn't the type to argue but bear with me)

We hung out again like old times. Hanging out at the old cherry blossom tree with her playing the violin and I would be listening while enjoying the day in each other's company.

There were so many chances I had to confess but I couldn't bring myself to tell her because I was afraid of what Ryuzuki would say to me. I kept them inside of me. The more I held back, the more my heart wanted to burst out.

"Ryoma-kun?"

"Hm?"

"A-are you going to the dance?"

"What dance?"

The spring dance"

"Oh"

"A-Are you going with someone?"

"Not really"

"R-Really? B-because I-I-I…"

"Sure"

"Are you sure Ryoma-kun? You might something to do on that day"

"Not really" I lied to her. I wanted to train for upcoming tournament but how could I resist her?

Her eyes lit up. Her face was closer to mine and kissed me on the cheek. I felt heat creeping up on my face. I saw her head bowed down and her cheeks were a light pink.

The night finally came. When I came to pick her up I felt that my heart stopped. She was the most beautiful girl I ever saw. She wore a light pink dress ending at her knees and her hair was loose. She looked simple, beautiful, and breathtaking. She smiled at me as we left for the school. As we walked I noticed that girls and boys were glaring at us. I didn't pay attention to them but to Ryuzuki.

Inside the gym, we hardly recognized our classmates. Gone with the school uniforms and replaced with formal attrite. I saw the dance floor and noticed some couples were started to dance to a slow song.

"R-Ryoma-kun W-would you…"

"Sure"

I guided her to the dance floor. I wrapped my arms around her waist while she wrapped hers around my neck and rested her head on my shoulder. We didn't spoke a word to each other. She looked so beautiful. She looked like an angel in the dim light. There were so many things I wanted to tell her. I wanted to tell her she was the most beautiful girl in the gym, that she was my guiding light but importantly I wanted to tell her that I loved her. Mustering up the courage I had, I bent to whisper in her ear but the music stopped and the moment was taken away. I didn't want to let go but I reluctantly did. She looked at for a moment and walked away. I mentally whacked myself in the head for not waiting any longer.

Time passed on and I haven't seen her for most of the night. I started to worry, thinking of what would happen to her so I left the gym to search for her. As soon I was at the tennis courts I saw 2 silhouettes out lined in the moonlight. I recognized the white dress she was wearing. I couldn't describe the feeling I had but I turned and left.

Since that night I avoided her at all costs. When she saw me she would greet me cheerfully and I simply brushed her away. She sensed that something was wrong so she kept asking what was wrong but I never told her. I was afraid she still loved Fuji-sempai and not me. I'd rather be alone with my true feelings instead of hearing the dreaded words and having my hopes crushed. It also hurt that I was doing this to her again but I thought it was the best way to forget her and move on.

I was offered to participate in the US open. I took the offer thinking this would help me to completely forget about her. When I made my way to the airport, I saw her standing in front of me. I was angry to see her stand in front of me. She came closer to me and gave me a single red rose. At that moment my anger disappeared. As she gave me the rose her eyes had a different look and when she smiled at me it wasn't the same sweet smile she would give me. At that point I didn't want to go to America but I wanted to stay by her side, I wanted to hold her and tell that I loved her, but before I got the chance she turned around and left.

I got to America the next day. I vowed myself to win but at night I would think about her. I wonder if she ever thinks of me too. I tried to forget about her but I couldn't forget about loving her. Each achievement, each victory it was all for her. I wanted to win to US open not for myself for her as well. I thought that if I were successful enough I would go back and tell her that I love her. By that time I would be worthy of her.

After the US open, there was the Australian open and then the France open and then Wimbledon. When I won Wimbledon I was hoping Ryuzuki would be watching me because all my victories were all for her. After a year I decided to go back to Japan. When I got back home the first thing I did was to go straight to Ryuzuki's home. Ryuzuki-sensei answered

"Ryuzuki-sensei…"

"Ryoma it's been awhile. Congratulations on winning Wimbledon"

"Thank you…but where's Ryuzuki?"

After I said those words to her she gave me a sad look

"Follow me"

I was confused off where she was leading me but I realized she was leading me to the old cherry blossom tree. I was hoping she would be waiting for me with a smile.

"There she is," She whispered

Instead of seeing her, a newly dug out tomb bearing the name of the girl I loved was there. I convinced myself that this was all a dream and that when I wake it up, it would all over.

I looked at Ryuzuki-sensei for answer. She avoided my eyes and started to explain

"It's been a week since she died. She died because of leukemia. Even though she was sick, she never stopped thinking about you. It was even your name she uttered before she died. She asked us to bury her here because she always regarded this place as a place of memories. It was also the place where she spent her happiest of days here with you. She asked me to give this to you" Ryuzuki sensei gave me an envelope and walked away. I ripped the envelope open and read of what inside

My dearest Ryoma Kun 

_By the time you have read this letter I will be long gone from this world. I wanted to let you know that I was blessed to have a friend like you. I also wanted to tell you something…I love you. Not in the brotherly way or a friendly way but as someone I want to spend the rest of my life with. I love you yes but not because you're the prince of tennis but as Echizen Ryoma. I loved you since we first met and it bloomed everyday. That's why my days with you are my happiest days. You don't know how much I dream of you at night and wake up in the morning dreaming of you no more for you are with me. _

_When you left the US open, I couldn't stop crying because I was afraid you would found another girl to be with. I couldn't bear the thought that to see you with someone else. I may have sound selfish butt this is how I really felt for you. When I was with you it felt like a dream coming true. I did so many things so that you would learn to love me butt I never saw a hint from you. I did everything to please you because I loved you so much I think that you loved me as well. So many nights I cried myself to sleep thinking that I was unloved by you. You might think this is nothing but this is the honest truth and I would never lie to someone I care for. _

_You might think of Fuji-sempai but I dated him to make you jealous. It may sound that I was desperate for your attention but I wanted you to see me as a young woman and not the 12-year-old girl you know. Fuji-sempai even agreed to help me since he knew my feelings for you. In fact we never dated. Whenever you were around him and me would hold hands and hope to catch your attention but you never saw the both of us. When we 'broke' I ran crying to you, I just did that to see how you would react and I'll know that you loved me but still I never saw a sigh._

_At the dance you didn't know how happy I was to be your date. I was so happy to be in your arms dancing along with the music. I wanted to desperately hear your voice telling that you loved me but you never said a word. When Fuji-sempai asked me what was wrong I talked to him. I was afraid you would know so we talked in private in the tennis courts. I explained everything to him. What happened next was that you were gone. I found out that you were looking for me. The next day you were avoiding me and you continued to do so. It was then I realized that you must have seen Fuji-sempai and me together on that night. I tried to explain it to you but you never gave me a chance. You continued to avoid me and it was hurting me deeply and you never knew the pain I had inside. When you were about to leave for America I wanted to tell you that I loved you but I was afraid that you didn't love me the same way I did so I left._

_It may be too late to say I love you now to your face but I want you to know that I will always love you and that my heart will always be your alone. Ryoma Kun, you are my other half, the part where I can't live without. I love you…_

_Ryuzuki Sakuno_

_Ps: Think of me sometimes and always remember that loving you was the best thing that was ever happened to me _

I felt tears coming to my face as I folded the letter. All along she loved me the same way I did but it was too late to tell her that. Rain started to fall and I looked up towards the sky

"ASHITEROU SAKUNO!!!" I shouted out to the world. I didn't care if anyone heard me but I wanted her to know I love her…. always and forever

Midori: I'm done. REVIEW!


	2. Sakuno

Midori: Hello minna-san! After seeing the reviews for this story I decided to put Sakuno's input on this. So I hope you'll enjoy it.

Summary: it started off as an innocent crush but as time passed on, it grew into something meaningful, but I was afraid…afraid he wouldn't love me the way I did for him…

Sakuno's POV

If you were to ask me who was the most precious person to me was it would be Ryoma-kun. There was something about him that makes my heartbeat twice as fast and having the butterflies in my stomach. It seems like the typical feeling you have when you fall in love with someone but there was even more to that.

It started as an innocent crush ever since he saved me from the 3 bullies on the train. I was relieved when he managed to stop them when the racket was about to hit my face. Giving him a look of relief he didn't do anything but just stare at me and left as the driver announced the stop. I thought I wouldn't be able to see him again but fate had other plans

I saw him again as he asked for directions to the Kakinokizaka Tennis garden. From what obaa-chan told me was the south exit but I made a mistake and pointed him off to the wrong direction, which resulted in his disqualification. I felt so horrible I offered to buy him a drink. Looking in my wallet I didn't have enough change so he treated me to one, which left me feeling even guiltier.

Looking back on that day I felt that there would be a connection to each other but I didn't know what it was until I learned he would be going to the same school as I was. I felt really happy and I hoped he would remember me. Sad to say he didn't. I felt really disappointed but as time went on I was attracted to him like bees to a flower. Everytime I look at him, I want to be right by his side to ensure he would have someone to be with. But how could I when he had so many girls admiring him. Everytime the regulars would have a practice girls would scream his name out for everything he does. All I do is stand by Tomo-chan as she cheers for them while I just stand and stare.

I would make him bentos everyday since he never seems to bring a lunch. One time when I asked him how it tasted he just said his usual phrase. It was the first insult he ever gave me. It pained me to hear that coming from him. I thought I would forget about and hoping that he wasn't serious. As time went on, the more he insulted me, the more it felt like he was targeting my heart. I have been insulted in the past but they never came close to the pain I felt from him.

Everyday there was an old cherry blossom tree near a lake. After school when there wasn't anyone around I would climb onto an old sturdy branch and take out my violin and play a piece that would come to my mind. I never told anyone I could play the violin mostly because I was afraid that everyone would laugh at me and think I played really badly. I found this place a safe haven to get away from everyone and to relax. One day I saw him walking from Tennis practice. For some reason, I wanted him to join me but I was scared he would say no and walk home. Mustering up the little courage I had, I called out to him asking him if he wanted to join me. Seeing the look in his eyes it looked like he didn't want to. To my surprise he climbed up the tree and joined me.

I told him I wanted to be a violinist and that I wanted to go to foreign countries learning about music. He wants to beat his father and be the world's number one tennis player. When he spoke to me on that day he sounded…sincere. There was no trace of sarcasm but true sincerity. I smiled at him and told him to pursuit in them. Since that day my liking for him grew even more.

After that day we saw each other more frequently. After tennis practice we would meet up with each other and go to the cherry blossom tree where we would hang out and talk. I can remember the laughs and stores we had together. Slowly and slowly the more time I spent with him it was there and then that my crush on him grew into something deep: I was in love with him. It wasn't the brotherly love or the friend type love but the person that I want to spend my life with. It felt so weird think about it at a young age, but I felt that my heart had made up its mind.

As the years passed by, my love for him grew. At nighttime I would dream about him and the feeling of wanting him near me. I loved being around him during the day but at nighttime it was different. I wanted him beside me. Knowing that his presence was there and that I would feel safe but he wasn't there beside me. I wanted him to know my feelings for him so I tried to satisfy him. I felt that pleasing him would help him understand my feelings for him but there wasn't a hint coming from him. I kept hoping that he would see my actions for him as signs of affections and still nothing.

I started to think that Ryoma-kun doesn't see me that way but I kept holding on to the smallest amount of hope that he would. I kept thinking that I would be unloved by him and I found myself crying thinking about it until sleep would consume me.

We entered high school together. I decided to stop braiding my hair and to cut it in hopes that Ryoma-kun would see me as a young woman instead of the 12-year girl with braids. But still I never saw anything from him. I noticed that so many boys were paying attention showering me with compliments and gifts. Oh how I wished Ryoma-kun would be like one of them, but instead he would just glare at them and wait until they would leave.

I wanted to him to confess to me. Everyday I yearn to hear the 3 little words escape from his lips but still nothing. I was desperate. I wanted him to see me now and for him to know my feelings so I had a plan. A plan to make him jealous and so I asked someone to help me

"Are you sure Fuji-sempai? I don't want to use you like this"

"Ryuzuki-chan, I can see it in Echizen's eyes. He does see you that way so I'll help him understand"

"Arigato Fuji-sempai"

And so Fuji-sempai and me started to 'go out' with each other. Whenever we saw Ryoma-kun walk our way, we would hold hands and hopefully he'll notice us but he never saw us. I tried calling his name but he never paid attention to me and instead walks the other way. We still continued our charade until Fuji-sempai told me something that would hopefully help.

"Y-You're kidding…"

"I'm not. I guess that ever since Echizen saw us together, he's been acting…different"

"What do you mean?"

"He's been ruthless on the courts lately so I figured that he would take out his frustrations on us especially me because maybe he could be jealous"

"J-jealous? A-ano I don't think…"

"I'm sure of that Ryuzuki-chan. I was thinking of something to see if he was truly jealous…"

"What is it?"

He told me his plan that we should 'break up' and see the results. I agreed to do his plan for I was desperate. I wanted to hear those words coming out of his mouth. The 3 words I longed to hear. The next day, I ran to him crying 'telling' him we broke up. I decided to tell him we had an argument that ended our relationship to make it believable. As I cried he didn't do anything but stood there offering his shoulder as support. I never saw a reaction coming from him and I felt sadder.

I found myself hanging out with him again like old times but this time it was different. When I was with him I wanted him to confess to me. I longed to hear his confession but he never brought anything up. I kept crying at nighttime thinking he would never love me until I slept.

The spring dace was coming up and I wanted to go with Ryoma-kun. But would he go with me?

"Sure"

"Are you sure Ryoma-kun? You might have something to do on that day"

"Not really"

My eyes lit up in joy as you accepted my offer. I wanted to express it to you but I was too shy and so I kissed him. Not on the lips but on the cheek. For a moment I saw his cheeks burn with red as I bowed my head in embarrassment thinking what Ryoma-kun though.

The night came and I was waiting for him. Tomo-chan helped me picked out the dress and I loved it. It was light pink in color just ending at the knees. The doorbell rung and when I answered it, I must have felt my heartbeat skip a beat, maybe twice. He looked so handsome with the navy blue button up shirt and black pants. He took my hand and we walked to the school.

The gym looked so different at nighttime. It was dark with a few lights twinkling faintly. A slow song was playing and I mustered up the courage to ask him to dance

"Sure"

He guided me to the dance floor. He wrapped his arms around my waist while I wrapped mine around his neck. I rested my head on his shoulder. As we danced I felt I was living a dream. Having his arms around me as we glided to the music felt so relaxing. Again I wanted to hear those words from you. But he never said a word. I then noticed that his head was near my ear as if he wanted to tell me something. The music ended and he let me go. I looked at him for a moment and walked away.

I felt so sadden after we danced. I was sitting along with Tomo-chan as she talked with some friends.

"Ryuzuki-chan?"

"F-Fuji-sempai"

"You don't seem to enjoy yourself, do you want to talk about it?"

"In private" I looked at Ryoma-kun who was with Momo-sempai and Kikumaru-sempai

We decided to go to the tennis courts hoping that he wouldn't find us

"Fuji-sempai, I don't think he doesn't see me."

I told him the pain I was feeling. How it hurt to be around him and how I longed to hear his confession. Fuji-sempai understood what I was talking about.

"Give him a chance"

"A-ano…I don't know…"

"Echizen isn't the type of person to openly confess his feelings for someone. Give him time."

"I hope so Fuji-sempai"

We went back to the gym and the next thing I knew he was gone

"He was looking for you"

I was confused.

The next day I noticed a change of his attitude. When I greeted him that morning he just brushed me off. I wondered what was going on so I tried to approach him but he ignored me. It happened for a few days until I realized that he must have saw Fuji-sempai and me that night. I wanted to tell him thr truth but he never gave me a chance. It hurt me very much that the one person I loved was hurting me all over again. It was worse that death because I was going through the pain twice and it was hurting me.

I learned that was he offered to go to the US open. As the news hit me, I felt so many emotions at once. It would mean he would leave me again. I couldn't face the fact that he would leave without him knowing of my feelings. Mustering up the little courage I trimmed off a red rose from my garden and hurried off to the airport to see him one last time. As I ran I saw him he was in front of me

"R-Ryoma-kun…"

I slowly approached him and gave him the rose. I looked at him ready to confess…but a nagging voice in my head told me otherwise

'He might not like you that way…let him go… it'll be for the best…'

I froze for a second. Maybe it was right. What if he didn't see me that way? I was scared and I didn't know what to do. The only thing was to walk away and that's what I did.

After he left, I kept thinking what if he found someone else? The though of it was too frightening and when I faced him I was afraid to hear him say he's already in love with someone. I didn't know what to do.

A month after his departure I felt even more tired, I lost my appetite and I was getting more fevers than usual. Obaa-chan was getting worried so she took me to the doctor. When the results came back I was stricken with fear

"You've been tested for Leukemia positive"

I broke down crying. I was dying. The doctor explained to me that I had a few months to live. The cancer had spread throughout the rest of my body and there was nothing to could do. Three months later I was hospitalized. Everyday I felt weaker and weaker. I couldn't bear to see the faces of obaa-chan, Tomo-chan and the regulars. The looks on that faces made me sad. I didn't want to see their faces sad because of me. But still I was glad they were there. I just wished Ryoma-kun could be here with me knowing I would be okay.

As the months passed on, I was so weak; I couldn't even lift a hand. I knew it was time for me to depart from the world. But I still couldn't let Ryoma-kun know about my feelings before I was gone, so instead the best way for him to know is write a letter. Using of the little strength I had I wrote him a letter. It took me such a long time since writing a letter took so much energy. After a few days it was complete. I tucked it in an envelope and handed it to obaa-chan asking her to give it to Ryoma-kun when he comes back.

"Sakuno-chan, do say such things."

"Obaa-chan…When I die please…. bury…. me…near…cherry blossom tree…because…. of the happiest ...days I had with………Ryo…. Ryo…."

"Hush. Get some rest"

"Ryoma-kun…."

Midori: All right that was Sakuno's POV. Who knows maybe I'll do an epilogue if you want me too. Please Review!


	3. epilouge

Midori: Hey there folks. Midori here with the last part to 'afraid'. You guys have been asking me to do it and here it is! The awaited epilogue

Don't own PoT

Summary: It's been 40 years…40 long years since she died and I wasn't over her death. It took the words of someone special to me to realize that I needed to move on…

How long has it been now? 30? No, Much longer than that. 40? Yes 40. It's been 40 years since she died. When I found out she died, I felt a part of me died as well. I remember I locked myself in my room reminiscing the memories I had with her. I re-read the letter many times over and over again like a broken record. At night I look up at the night sky thinking of where she is now. Was she in a place where she felt no pain? Or is wandering the earth alone? It didn't matter where she was; the fact is that I want her here with me by my side.

At nighttime her presence haunts me in my dreams. I can still see her hair flowing in wind along with the cherry blossoms and her chocolate eyes looking at me with mirth. All the memories I have of her play like a movie over and over again. It continues on until the morning comes.

I've stayed in my room until I was ready to face the truth: She wasn't there anymore and she'll never will. I go to her grave everyday like I do for the past 40 years. In time I've found someone else but I never got that spark like I did when I was with her. I tried to be happy around her but I never was. I always wonder why I was with her in the first place. Was it because she looked liked her or was it because she had personality? Or was it both?

We married and had a child together. I even named my daughter after her too. I always wished that Ryuzuki were my wife instead. She would be the mother of my child as well. I could see it in my mind clearly. She would have her long brown hair and my hazel eyes instead of the raven black hair and blue eyes she inherited from her mother. Time passed and the relationship I had with Minami severely weakened.

"Ryoma, we should divorce. I mean it's pointless to stay together when all you're thinking about is the woman you love is gone. You even named our daughter after her! You never hold me or even kiss me when we're alone. I can't handle this no more."

"Whatever"

'There you go again! Always saying 'Whatever' or 'Mada Mada Dane' or whatever crap that's comes out from you! That's it I'm leaving. Goodbye."

And it was gone like a blink of an eye. She packed her stuff and left leaving me with my daughter. As she left I felt a burden lifting off my shoulders.

I raised my daughter alone for the next ten years. She grew up into a beautiful young woman, 20 years old and already taking up college in Tokyo University. Everyday I feel like I see Ryuzuki within her. Whenever it was her smile or her sweet, caring personality all of it reminded me of Ryuzuki.

Sakuno wasn't home one day and I was worried. Normally she would be home before I got home from coaching. I waited for a half an hour but she never showed up and I was starting to worry. It was also time to visit her as well. Maybe I thought I would see her on the way there. Getting up from the coach I opened the door and walked to the cherry blossom tree. Once I got there I was surprised that I got company.

"S-Sakuno…what are you doing?"

She turned around and looked at me with shocked eyes. She promptly stood up and dusted the clothes off her.

"T-Tou-san…I didn't notice you were there…"

"What are you doing here?"

"This is…she…isn't it?" She pointed at the grave. "That woman you always think about. You always come here to see her do you? Everyday at this time you would leave the house to come here correct?"

"…Yeah…she was…an old friend"

"More like the woman you cared for. Or rather loved her in correction"

"…"

"Tell me about her"

I took a deep breath and sighed. I knew one of these days she would ask about her; it's just that I didn't know when she was going to ask. It was one of these days where I wasn't expecting that coming from her mouth.

"She was someone special to me, really close in fact. When we were younger I never gave a second thought about her until we were in high school it was then I started to think about her in a different way"

"You were in love with her?"

"Ye-What?"

"Tou-san you're in love with her. I can see it in your eyes. When you were talking about a minute ago your eyes were different…they looked…happy, really happy in fact. Unlike the usual stares you have everyday. You have the spark of love" She grinned at me and I all I did was stare her down. Where did she get her observing nature? Oh right…that was I…

"Yeah yeah I loved her…but there was something that held my feelings for her. You see I was afraid…"

"Afraid?" She asked but this time it was in a quiet voice. Normally she would laugh at me but her quiet voice meaning she wanted to know. To see her father afraid of something is a big discovery for her

"I was afraid she wouldn't love me the way I did long time ago. I kept my feelings locked up. I was hoping she would confess to me to make it easier for me but she never said anything to me at all. I was too late when I heard the news that she died. Since then I never found another woman"

'Then why did you marry okaa-san in the first place?"

"She reminded me of her. From her looks to her personality she reminded me of her"

"But did you really love her?"

"At first I did but after we had you, things went downhill. Our relationship was strained, but I tried my best to keep my marriage with your mother. One night she snapped and she left me to raise you alone"

"Then why didn't you stop her from leaving"

"You mother was right about one thing: It was pointless to be with her when all I think is her. I knew it was stupid to go after all and it cause more complications so I didn't fight back."

"Tou-san…I don't know what to think about this…but all I know is that you should really move on. You named me after a woman who's already dead and you didn't put up much of a fight for okaa-san. What I'm trying to say is that you got to move on. Yes I'm sorry that she died but you've been obsessing about her for a long time."

"Sakuno, I…"

"Don't 'Sakuno I' me tou-san. If she was here then what she say about this? If I were her I wouldn't want to be with someone who does nothing but obsess about her. I'd rather leave instead"

"Sakuno, I loved her. But she never knew about it. I couldn't even put 2 words together to form how I felt about her back then"

"That's no excuse. You had the chance but you did nothing about it. All you did was hold in your feelings until you realized she was gone."

"…"

"Tou-san…I know out that she's out there somewhere but I know one thing: She wants you to be happy and content with your life. No matter how faraway you are to her or how close she is to your heart: She will be watching you in life and in death."

What she said to me shocked me. To understand something simple was made clear. I felt so foolish to thin it would take 40 years to understand what everyone wanted me to do: To move on from her death and to start a new life.

"Arigato Sakuno"

"For what?"

"For helping me to understand what I didn't know"

"U-uh…yeah no problem tou-san…"

"And one more thing…"

"Yeah?"

"Don't make the same mistake I did"

At that point she blushed and I chuckled to myself

"Go get him"

"Sure"

She stood up and left me while I watched her retreating back. At least she won't make the same mistake I did so many years

"It's time to move on…goodbye…. Sakuno…" I whispered. I took out a long red rose from my pocket and placed it on the soil. I stood up and looked at the tombstone one last time before I took a step. As I walked back to the house, I felt a sight gust of wind. I spun around and the rose was gone. Was it-? It couldn't…could it? It could have been an illusion. I spun around for the final time and the rose was still there. For a second there I thought it was Ryuzuki.

"Che…mada mada dane" I muttered. I continued back home until I heard something

'Thank you…'

It sounded so familiar but I knew who the voice was

"I love you…" I replied back. I hope she heard that. But knowing her she already knows that. As I close the door on my old life and open up a new one I know that was gone…gone but not forgotten…

Fast-forward 20 years

"Awww that story was sooooo romantic," Gushed a girl

"Cut it out Rika, You're annoying me"

"What did you say Hikaru no baka?!" The two of them started to argue. It was always like this. Her two children always arguing like this. Her father did say they reminded him of 2 old friends on his junior high tennis team. Sakuno sighed as she left her children and went upstairs to check up on her father.

"Tou-san? Are you okay? Tou-san?"

She opened the door to see her father sleeping on the rocking chair where it was faced to the stars.

"Tou-san? Tou-san? Wake up…Tou-san?"

She shook him a little. Then she realized something. He was gone. She knew there would be a time he would have to go. She noticed a piece of paper he was holding. She pried his fingers open and saw a scribble on the paper

Wait for me

She smiled. At least her father would be happy. She had a feeling they would see each other someday. She just hoped he was happy…

He opened his eyes. A figure was in front of him. She smiled at him

"Ryoma-kun…"

He snapped his eyes open and he was in his 15 year old self. He looked at the figure that was coming at him

"Ryuzuki…I'm sorry…for not telling you…"

"It's okay…At least we're together now…"

"I love you"

"I love you too"

Midori: Argh…that was crap…but I managed to sneak a little ryosaku for you guys. I hope you enjoy it. I had another epilogue in mind but I chose this one. If you like I'll post up. Please review!


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